Warts and all

2008-02-18T22:11:49+01:00

Hello, I'm weightogo. What a delightful play on words, don't you think?

I'm intending to do this in the spirit of 'warts and all'. What's the point in being anything but honest?

In the past, I have seen dieticians. I have starved myself. I have binged and vomited. I have tried sensible eating for about a week, but been so hungry I have gorged on everything in the house. My problem my sound obvious, but it is a large barrier: I am never full, because I am never hungry. Nothing sates me, because I am already sated. I eat all day, through both boredom and habit. Furthermore, I never exercise, for the simple reason that I am too big to do so comfortably.

Knowing that the GP would just send me to that bitch of a dietician again, I have taken matters into my own hands. I have bought Reductil direct from the suppliers. All perfectly legal, I assure you.

Reductil works by targeting the desire for food. It in itself does not make you lose weight. It supposedly mentally alters you. It stops you thinking about food, feeling so hungry, and you feel full sooner. You still have to eat, but you don't want to eat as much. It works for some people, but doesn't for others. Side effects include dry mouth, constipation, and increased blood pressure. Trust me, I'm not advertising this drug - I just feel it is now my only option.

I am almost 24. I am 5ft 6". I estimate my weight at 16st. I haven't got around to buying any scales yet, it could well be higher (certainly not lower). Size 18 in jeans, size 20/22 on top.

My least favourite part of me is my stomach. Nay, my belly. It is a belly. It hangs in two large tyres. I can lift it. I am most concerned that if I do lose weight, I will be left with excess skin. I will worry about that if/when I get there. For now, I am a fan of lightweight corsetry and enormous control knickers.

My second least favourite is my back. The top tyre on my belly starts from here. Other people with a lot of back fat will know what I mean when I say back fat sucks. This is also semi-controlled by chunderwear.

Third place goes jointly to my arms and thighs. I haven't worn anything shorter than a 3/4 sleeve for a about five years. The bingos must be concealed at all times, and designers of summer clothes just don't seem to have grasped onto that fact. My legs never used to be too bad, but in the past year or so, they have become unbelieveably lumpy and, well, droopy. I can't even bear/bare my knees anymore.

It does not help that I have been 'blessed' with extraordinarily large and heavy breasts (thank you, paternal aunts) that probably weigh a stone each themselves. I am not attached to these (emotionally, I mean). I would not be upset to wake up and find them shrunken to the size of a teacup.

Did I mention my lack of jawline and the extra chin?

As you can see (use your imagination, please) I am rather fat.

Of course, for balance, I can recognise positives about myself. I have pretty eyes and full lips. I have ok ankles. My hair can be a bit wild, but can also look nice if I make an effort. Unfortunately, none of these things are lessening my chance of diabetes and/or a heart attack, more's the pity.

So, what has prompted me to lose weight? Well, simple reasons really.

I'm running out of clothes that fit, and even if I had the money to buy some more, I'm running out of shops with clothes I fit into. I'm not quite old enough for Ann Harvey...

I'm graduating next year, and don't want to look fat on my photo, because it's the kind of photo that people will want to see in the future, and I can't be doing with any shrill exclaiming about my weight, be it higher or lower.

I want to go on holiday somewhere warm, and I am terrified I wouldn't fit into the seat, or get the belt around me for that matter. Not to mention the phenomenon of Swimsuit Terror. UK Summers are traumatic enough at the moment.

I need some sex.

All perfectly valid reasons, thinks I.

I will be taking Reductil for a month. I will keep this diary to record my progress, which will include weightloss, side effects, and emotional issues (trust me - we haven't even touched upon those).

For now, I congratulate anyone who has reached the end of this rather lengthy entry. Do say hi. Feel free to drop by again.

Now I just need to buy some scales...

Comments

Lazy + Food = Fat.

Warts and all